thank you 825!




it's lyrics time...

When this began/I had nothing to say/And I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me/I was confused/And I let it all out to find/That I'm/Not the only person with these things in mind/
Inside of me/But all the vacancy the words revealed/Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel/Nothing to lose/Just stuck/Hollow and alone/And the fault is my own/And the fault is my own//I want to heal/I want to feel/What I thought was never real/I want to let go of the pain/I've held so long/[Erase all the pain 'til it's gone]/It's gone]/I want to heal/I want to feel/Like I'm close to something real/I want to find something I've wanted all along/Somewhere I Belong//And I've got nothing to say/I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face/I was confused/Looking everywhere/Only to fin that it's/Not the way I had imagined it all in my mind/
So what am I/What do I have but negativity/'Cause I can't justify the/Way everyone is looking at me/Nothing to lose/Nothing to gain/Hollow and alone/And the fault is my own/The fault is my own//I will never know/Myself until I do this on my own/And I will never feel/Anything else until /my wounds are healed/I will never be/Anything 'til I break away from me/And I will break away/I'll find myself today//I want to heal/I want to feel like I'm/Somewhere I belong

~somewhere i belong~linkin park~


Chill out whatcha yelling' for?/Lay back it's all been done before/And if you could only let it be/you will see/I like you the way you are/When we're drivin' in your car/and you're talking to me one on one but you've become . . .//Why you have to go and make things so complicated?/I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated/Life's like this you/And you fall and you crawl and you break/and you take what you get and you turn it into honesty/
and promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it/no no no

~complicated~avril~



And no one knows how to say/That they're sorry/An' don't worry/I'm not telling lies


She said, "I've got to be honest, you're wasting your time if you're fishin' around here"/And I said, "You must be mistaken, I'm not foolin' this feelin' is real"/She said, "You've gotta be crazy! What do you take me for? Some kind of easy mark?"//"No, you've got wits, you've got looks, you've got passion/But I swear that you've got me all wrong"/I'll be true, I'll be useful, I'm be cavalier, I'll be your's my dear/I'll belong to you if you just let me through//This is easy as lovers go, so don't complicate it by hesitating/This is wonderful as loving goes/This is tailor-made, what's the sense in waiting?//I said, "I've got to be honest, I've been waiting for you all my
life"/For so long I thought I was asylum bound/But just seeing you makes me think twice/
And being with you here makes me sane/I fear I'll go crazy if you leave my side//"You've got wits, you've got looks, you've got passion/But are you brave enough to leave with me tonight?"

~dashboard confessional~as lovers go~



yessssssss... and thats all she wrote....


-ker-
[munchkin]

i hate not being able to dance.




it makes me sick not dancing.








yup.

::it's 3 am, i must be lonely::

it is three am, and yes, no one is here, but i had a good day. i mean, i didn't wake up until 12, didn't get out of bed until 4:30 [ yes pm! ] and then kin's presence and seeing her dressed made me want to get out of my pjs, so i changed and we ventured to the grocery store [what a wonderful word, "VENTURED"]. then, we made dinner! how lovely. then rachel and i had our very own "quality time" to tell stories, watch silly girlie movies, and just hang out and chat [i did fall asleep a lil during a vander-bar movie...]. so i had a good day.


i miss the stars. looking up at the night sky, the bitter night sky, it just is so sad to see it dim like that. i saw one star at 3 am. one. it must be so lonely up there all by itself. i know i would be. i wonder if stars get paranoid, as humans do, wondering if they will be the only one left, the only one who cares. we do all care, don't we? even if we don't always show it. we are aware of ourselves and are prospective to others emotions, even if we can't always express that [men are horrible with this concept; i mean, straight men, anyway]. well, not all straight men are horrible with this, and not all gay men are good at it. and i'm not concluding that women can always sense what another human is feeling, we just sometimes understand that you don't need to start at the thought, but the emotion, and you will be able to feel out the next steps.
i'm sorry if i suddenly became deep, but thats me. i like letting my mind ramble on a single thought and writing it down [true artists; word association] it's like how when you dance and you can close your eyes when listening to the music and just hear the steps and how they piece together so perfectly. and all you want to do is be able to shine like that and live up to each one of those steps expectations. you dancers know. maybe i sometimes feel like i'm stcuk in that tight close up box where you can only see my eyes, but its not the entire episode, so i know that eventually the camera pulls back to where we can all be comfortable again....please don't cry, please...

i'm happy. i'm content. i'm in love. and i am very thankful to all of my friends. even a do-nothing day like today was amazing because of some friendly faces and my true love's voice.


it's like the book you can't put down. the second act, the next quarter, you just can't wait to see what happens next :)



::pontiluf's leg healed, and he was able to walk again, so he went off to find a new adverture. i didn't miss him::

all these about a single star . . .


.::ker::.

i am never going to sleep tonight.

not that the efforts of my day shall be unfufilling. not that the things i did or said or accomplished should be overlooked; because they are full of importance. not that the people i hugged or drove home or ate breakfast with or talked on the phone to weren't worth the time i spent with them. or the six and a half hours i spent trying very hard to make everyone know me . . . hopefully that was worth something.

but i've been up now for 21 hours and i really want to go to bed. i love you all [u know who you are, the above mentioned]

thanks for making this be my home.

thanks for being my comfort zone

thanks for letting me know its ok to be afraid.


its ok to let people know me. and let people back in. you dont know that i learned that from you today. but thanks anyway. even though you don't know it, i still appreciate it.

4 yrs is so much longer than 2 . . .



and a special tribute to bryan and the red group, for all the help they gave me today:


Can't explain all the feelings that you're making me feel
My heart's in over drive and you're behind the steering wheel
Touching you, touching me, touching you cause you're touching me
I believe in a thing called love, just listen to the rhythm of my heart
There's a chance we can make it now
We'll be lookin till the sun goes down
I believe in a thing called love
Ooooooh (huh!)

I wanna kiss you every minute every hour everyday
You got me in a spin but everything is a ok

Touching you, touching me
Touching you cause you're touching me
I believe in a thing called love, just listen to the rhythm of my heart
There's a chance we can make it now
We'll be lookin till the sun goes down
I believe in a thing called love
ooooooh (it's on)

and if i never hear that lovely, endearing song again, it will be all
too
soon

~ker~

ps - i fell more in love with you mjm. i love you every more each day. i don't know how you do it, but my insides are alway on the floor when you are around. i<3 u.

-girlie-