last monday of classes for fall semester. isn't that weird? i was just thinking yesterday how it seems so weird to be in college. i know, i know. i'm almost to my fourth semester. but truely, its weird. i miss being three and not knowing the dangers of the world....truely being innocent. {sigh} i'm almost out of college, and ready for what? what will college teach me? what will it prepare me for? what will become of me and my friendships? i've already lost a friendship that was dear to me, and i barely know how. will people be dropping out of my life like that forever?

its weird to think about, and i'm sorry about the philosophical crap. . . . . . . . .

just writing.....

it freezes my soul like the snow does the flower, the pedals fall ever so softly onto the ground. the letters move to words on the page, but not all can read the language of which my tongue flaps, my pen scribbles. there's meaning in these words, but it is blocked by feelings, emotions, vulernablity, truth. a blockade protecting from hurt, from pain. a wall. a red brick wall with graffitti that serves no purpose beautifully assembled on the side. all for who? if you can't read the words, its not for you. if you can't understand, if you cant break through, if you can't. if you can't. you shouldn't try. they try to tell you. they tell you you can do anything, but can you truely? if you wanted to tear through a brick wall with your bare, bleeding hands, flesh and bone, sensors and receptors....could you do it because you believed and put your mind to it? their clapping loudly in the audience; they believe you can fly. they believe in you. but do u belive in you?

push shove push push shove pushhhhhhhhhh

i'm falling down this hole and don't know where i'm landing. i'm falling down this hole reaching for your hand. wishin you were there to catch me wishin you could make it right. touch me love me feel me tonight
i'm looking at the stars hoping love will never change. i'm looking at the sky hopin everything will stay the same. i'm down on my knees beggin beggin please....the sun rise never looks the same
the wonders of the world keep me going the clock goes round with a battery to push it forward i reach out my hand hoping you will catch me fall i reach out my hand....and dont feel anything at all
i'm sleeping in a bed of clouds dreaming dreaming forever i'm sleeping in a bed of clouds hoping your love will last forever i'm dreaming of the day when you can hold me in your arms...don't let me fall i'm too fragile i will break
i'm loving you today tomorrow and the next i'm loving you forever no matter what comes next i'm loving you i'm loving you i'm loving you ever chance i get. please dont let me fall i'm too fragile i will break please dont let me fail please dont let me fall.
when i reach out my hand please hold it when i reach out for you please grab me when i fall please be there to catch me...please don't let me fall...i'm fragile...i will break....


"i'm sensitive and i'd like to stay that way..." ~ jewel

--ker--