Saturday, May 03, 2003

so ya. i had an interesting night. dude, i am the coolest desi (designated driver) in the world ;) lol. i had fun. but i lost my coat :( where could it be? i think one of the girls took it out of the car by accident, but i hope they still have it if they do. ho hum. i guess we'll find it. anywho, its been a long night and i wish i coulda talked to you longer, mung :( definately tomorrow. wow, i just yawned. i need to sleep!! i want to sleep!! everyone else is sleeping in this world. i really miss you hunnie, and i wish you could be here so i could fall asleep next to you. thats what i want right now more than anything. i stink of pot and frat boys hooking up with these drunken dancers and cops yelling and cigarettes and flip cups and cigars and beer and beer and jungle juice and beer...i think i could high off of the smell on my hands. i had fun though. i really did. i like taking care of people. it makes me feel important. and a big thanks to erin mccormack who rocks my world by representing good ol VT!! and is really amazingly awesome to talk to. if i am here next year, i'm gonna live it up with u girl ;) ok i need to get some shut i now...hopefully nat wont call until at least 12...here's hoping...

i love you mung. i would have had 100% more fun if you coulda been there with me tonight. and here with me now. hey guess what??

peace ya'll - catch ya on the flip side...

-ker-

Wednesday, April 30, 2003

happy thoughts.

when your boyfriend is so excited to see you, that he puts his hoody on inside-out. *smile*. Yvan Dlo. *smile*

when you go to the fridge at 3 am when you can't sleep and you find boston chicken apples that you can eat...your suite mate asks u if you can do that and you say just watch...

when you go to sleep with the heating pad on because it is the only thing that is helping your stomache feel better and when you wake up in the morning and realize that oh shit you left it on all night but its ok cause you're not burnt..

when you wake up in the morning to the sound of your roomate snoring...a sound you haven't heard in a month...

when you have random, dumb thoughts on the unispan when you are with your *girls*, talking about potty training and stuff, and all they can do is laugh, becuase they love you, and in that moment, you know that they will always be there for you no matter what, no matter where you are...

when you can walk to a friends room at 1 in the morning and both be completely down in the dumps, ready to leave some stuff behind, but in 5 minutes are laughing like there are no problems outside the door to the room and there is no one in the world but the two of you, and you can have fun and laugh and talk about the *after sex bear* and condoms and sex and porns and pot and drinking and boys and friends and homesickness and long island and friendship and just hug and laugh and cry...

it's good to know who is always going to be there for you. i love getting little messages like "hey can u help me with this?" no matter what it is or how long it's going to take, i like being able to help people, even if we haven't been *super* close in the past few months...i love being able to sick and talk to that person like we used to like we have been talking and hanging out everyday of our lives...i love getting little messages like "hey i'm stealing this quote from you" from friends...even if i stole it from someone else in the first place, just cause 1) its awesome to know that they want to steal something you have and like what you have and 2) that they take the time out of their day to look at your profile and away message...

i like walking back into my room after a LONG day of everything and nothing all at once, when i feel sick, with a message from my boyfriend (hey guess what?) on the computer screen...


sometimes, life is so worth while when you are doing nothing. and thats when you realize that there are people that care about you and what will happen to you and where you will be...when you can find people who like to do nothing with you, you are set.

never stop smiling and picking your dandelions....one never knows when winter will come again....

These tears I've cried/I've cried 1000 oceans/And if it seems/I'm floating in the darkness/Well, I can't believe that I would keep/Keep you from flying/And I would cry 1000 more/If that's what it takes/To sail you home/Sail you home/Sail you home//I'm aware what the rules are/But you know that I will run/You know that I will follow you/Over silbury hill/Through the solar field/You know that I will follow you//And if I find you/Will you still remember/Playing at trains/Or does this litte blue ball/Just fade away/Over silbury hill/Through the solar field/You know that I will follow you/I'm aware what the rules are/But you know that I will run/You know that I will follow you//These tears I've cried/I've cried 1000 oceans/And if it seems/I'm floating in the darkness/Well I can't believe that I would keep/Keep you from flying/So I will cry 1000 more/If that's what it takes/To sail you home/Sail you home/Sail you home/Sail/Sail you home... ~ 1000 oceans, tori amos ~

-ker-

hey guess what mung?



Tuesday, April 29, 2003

i was in a phenomonally wonderful mood today. granted, my day didnt start until 12:30 when i woke up. i tried not to let anything or anyone bother me today. it wasn't a particularly good day, it was nice out. i wore all white and it rained (that sounds like a line from a song...) thanks to the pep that left me messages today ;) you know who u are. i got to talk to mung, today. i am so lucky to have him in my life. even when he isn't having the best of times in his life, he is still always there for me 110%. i'm really lucky. i have an AWFUL headache right now though...it's just throbbing with pain, kind of mocking me in a way. o well.

i can't wait to go home to my friends. it's just time. i miss my girls, greener, nuts! (heathbar), baby sting raey, tamerita, ash, gee, lyzzard, kaitlin, erica, encore kids, vcbers...everybody i've missed since i've been here. and my boys, mung (of course), snick, doug, brent, alex, dave, the fly crew...playing lax, camping...there is so much i cant wait to do when i get back.


well. time to do french for other people. again. what's new????

american pickle???

-ker-
"There Is" ~ BOXCAR RACER

this vacation's useless/these white pills aren't kind/i've given a lot of thought on this 13-hour drive/i missed the grinding concrete where we sat past 8 or 9/and slowly finished laughing in the glow of our headlights/i've given a lot of thought to the nights we use to have/the days have come and gone/our lives when but so fast/i faintly remember breathing on your bedroom floor/where i laid and told you but you sweared you loved me more//do you care if i don't know what to say/will you sleep tonight or will you think of me/will i shake this off pretend its all okay/that there someone out there who feels just like me/there is//those notes you wrote me/i've kept them all/i'll give a lot of thought of how to write you back this fall/with every single letter in every single word there/will be a hidden message about a boy that loves a girl//do you care if i don't know what to say/will you sleep tonight or will you think of me/will i shake this off/pretend its all okay that there's someone out there who feels just like me/there is//do you care if i don't know what to say?/will you sleep tonight or will you think of me/will i shake this off/pretend its all okay that there's someone out there who feels just like me//do you care if i don't know what to say?/will you sleep tonight or will you think of me/will i shake this off/pretend its all okay that there's someone out there who feels just like me/there is

i love this song. i really like boxcar racer better than blink 182. odd? yes, seeing as boxcar is 2/3 of blink...oh well.
~~
i had a really good day today. i had dinner with most of the originals (i miss you tay). i'm glad that i have them. i know no matter what or what happens to me and where i ends up, i will always have them. i had an awesome dance class today. it just felt so perfect. and i was just hyper and stuff. i talked to snick tonight, so that was cool. and i got to talk to my boy (whom i love, by the way :-9 ) a bunch of times, just cause i'm lucky like that. 18 more days from today! yay! can't wait til i'm back boys...but at the same time, i don't want to go? weird, isn't it??

(just read my megeorgias away message....Who needs boys when I've already found my soulmates? ya, she's talking about the originals)

well, its time for bed (or is it?)

see ya'll on the flip side!

-kayTEE in da HOUUUUUSE!-

Monday, April 28, 2003

they painted up your secrets/with the lies they told to you/and the least they ever gave you/was the most you ever knew//and i wonder where these dreams go.when the world gets in your way//what's the point in all this screaming/no one's listening anyway//your voice is small and fading/and you hide in here unknown/and your mother loves your father/'cause she's got nowhere to go//and she wonders where these dreams go/'cause the world got in her way/what's the point in ever trying/nothing's changing anyway//they press their lips against you/and you love the lies they say/and i tried so hard to reach you/but you falling anyway//and you know i see right through you/'cause the world gets in your way/what's the point in all the screaming/you're not listening anyway...

- acoustic #3 - goo goo dolls -


sometimes, the world does get in the way. and you make decisions you think are right, and then comes a day when you wake up in the morning crying from a dream you had and you say to yourself, "am i really happy?" and when you can't honestly answer the question with a yes, then you know that you need to change. i need to make some changes, cause i've lost myself. where did i go? i don't know, but i'm trying so hard to reach me, but i'm falling anyway....

-ker-

Sunday, April 27, 2003

so this is my blog. yup. mine ;)

so this weekend was llllooonnnnggggg.... i got mad at mung for the first time in our relationship. but everything is ok now (thank God) cause he has been my saving grace.... I ran into Caroline for the first time since break and she is awesome. she made me feel so important and that i'm actually going to be missed if i'm gone. thanks for making me feel sane, babe ;) if i don't come back, i'm gonna miss everyone. i love all my hofstra crew, i just dont think that i fit in this school. its hard for me to be myself here, and i feel like i have been walked on a lot already and disrepected and i dont know how to handle that. i am incredibly home sick, too. i just need my new england. i hope everyone can understand that. nothing anyone did or said is making me thinking about going. i just need to be somewhere i am happy. and i have had to pretend like i was happy all year. thanks to my friends that gave me good times and memories here; i'll be back to see you guys if i decide to go. i look forward to spending the next couple of weeks with my WANNABE girls, my Originals, HFC, katraeyad (RENT - i will never forget every day...), dancer girls (and boy!), and everyone that made me smile at Hofstra. Thanks to everyone who has made me feel important and taken me out and shown me a good side of HU (katraeyad! i miss you girlies...). goodness, this is so depressing. but there is still a chance i'll be back here, but no matter what, i'll be back to visit and crew some HFC films...o yah and party it up hofstra style! lol...

going home is gonna be sad and good at the same time. its been a good year, through the good and bad, we all made it! so long freshman year, hello sophomore! lol. love you all how made hofstra a friendly place ;)

can't wait to come home! 20 days! ;)

SMILE

-kay-tee-