i love dido's new one, white flag. i have to dance to that. i have to.

here's an improv from me...


today i wore white and it rained
lucky pennies taped to this preverbial wall
mocking the way u look at me
honest abe aint so tall anymore
when i can stand over him and wipe him off the ground
veins awaken at your touch
rampand heart rate

the rain soaked through the clothes
washing away what little dignity i had left
shoulda used the crayola markers

my white turned black today
staring at me in that childlike way
innocent to the world
new and uncultured
the sprockets click into place
lights dim

abe cant see me down here
when hes taped onto that wall
i'd get a lecture about honesty if he could

spasms
pulse

today i wore white and it rained
lucky pennies taped to this preverbial wall
mocking the way u look at me
honest abe aint so tall anymore
when i can stand over him and wipe him off the ground
veins awaken at your touch
rampand heart rate
that touch i cant live without
but the touch that will kill me


wow. thats not where i wanted to go, but ok. sometimes, you just hold the pen and u let it write. (quote me on that, i like it.)

out. home tonight. fooooooddddddddd.

xbox? box kicker? what? boys? hugs? old crushes and new loves....oy vey is all i have to say.


i love you mjm.


ker

I shouldn't be saying this, i shouldn't be thinking it...but i'm worried about raey. she's up there, living with her bf (who, by the way, had her block me on her screenname, but, did not block me from his own screenname...does he want to talk to me? i don't understand.) clark told me he talked to her the other day...she lied and said she wanted to grow away from high school and home friends....but why would u send your best friend an email telling her your boyfriend thinks it best for you not to be friends anymore until you break up with your boyfriend and don't talk to any of the people who have actually been there for you? i don't understand this brain washing...of course clark would understand that, because, except for the privilage few, he does not talk to people from home anymore...he has more valid reasons than she does however.....i just think a person should be able to make her own decisions, choose her own friends, and live her own life...i do understand the need for love, the want for love, being IN love....i understand that, i have that. i am in love. but i don't understand the...what is the word i'm looking for....the, void that brain washing or decision making for another person, acting if that person is incapabale of making decisions on their own fills...

i think this topic can not be discussed rightfully on her. i miss rachel. i miss the rachel that i was best friends with sophomore year. that i sat with in bio in front of marty and matt...i miss the rachel that i wrote notes to, that we started a notebook that we would write back and forth to each other. the rachel who i was able to tell everything to, the rachel that told me things no one else knows (voices, dad....etc) the rachel i could tell things to (jake, clark, sex), the rachel that i did so much with, that helped me experience life....it's like she passed away, barried in the back yard with stefy...lol...playgrounds ;)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

dancing.
we are gonna figure this thing out.
diet = good. -5 lbs.
getting better every day.
gym = tonight.
everything = moving in the right direction.....

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

what is the answer to the question? what is the question that i am seeking an answer to?





i love u mjm.

-kaytee-

i had a really good weekend at home.........

Wouldn't it be nice if we were older/Then we wouldn't have to wait so long/And wouldn't it be nice to live together/In the kind of world where we belong//You know its gonna make it that much better/When we can say goodnight and stay together//Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up/In the morning when the day is new/And after having spent the day together/Hold each other close the whole night through//Happy times together we've been spending/I wish that every kiss was neverending/Wouldn't it be nice//Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true/Baby then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldn't do/We could be married/And then we'd be happy//Wouldn't it be nice//You know it seems the more we talk about it/It only makes it worse to live without it/But lets talk about it/Wouldn't it be nice//Good night my baby/Sleep tight my baby

When I get older losing my hair,/Many years from now./Will you still be sending me a valentine/Birthday greetings bottle of wine. /If I'd been out till quarter to three /Would you lock the door, /Will you still need me, will you still feed me,
When I'm sixty-four.//You'll be older too, /And it you say the word, /I could stay with you. //I could be handy, mending a fuse /When your lights have gone. /You can knit a sweater by the fireside /Sunday mornings go for a ride, /Doing the garden, digging the weeds, /Who could ask for more. /Will you still need me, will you still feed me, When I'm sixty-four. //
Every summer we can rent a cottage, /In the Isle of Wight, if it's not too dear /We shall scrimp and save /Grandchildren on your knee /Vera Chuck & Dave. //Send me a postcard, drop me a line, /Stating point of view /Indicate precisely what you mean to say /Yours sincerely, wasting away /Give me your answer, fill in a form /Mine for evermore /Will you still need me, will you still feed me, When I'm sixty-four.

hehehe.




and thats all i have to say.








for now.

;)



-kay-tee-